bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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