I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
