im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
