Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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