Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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