Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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