But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
