Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
