last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
