I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
