my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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