Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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