Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
