I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
