Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
