I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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