you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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