i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
