No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My ATM looks so different sober.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
