Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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