That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
