I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize