Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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