You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
