was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize