i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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