I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
