There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
