Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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