This dress was meant to end up on your floor
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
