i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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