dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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