Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
