I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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