Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
