everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
