I'm gonna have a badass scar
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
