You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
