well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
