If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
im on a boat
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