The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
