Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize