i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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