You're completely useless in the revolution.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
