We should be called the Road Head Warriors
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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