K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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