I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
