mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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