Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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