They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
