i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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