There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize