You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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