mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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