What did we do last night that was yellow?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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