areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
