Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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