opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
