man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
