On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
