I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
