Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
