Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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