There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
