She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
