You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
