Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
