Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
