All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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