Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
