he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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