so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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