After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
